Sarah Jones-Green made a deeply personal choice to wait until marriage to have sex. After finding her perfect match at age 40 and planning their dream wedding, she never imagined a medical condition would stand in the way of their wedding night intimacy.
A London marketer describes herself as a “modern woman” who chose to save herself for marriage out of respect for her Christian upbringing and personal beliefs. After waiting more than four decades, her wedding night didn’t go as planned — and the reason was completely beyond her control.
“I’m a virgin bride — and I don’t want to be — having sex would make me feel like a ‘normal’ newlywed,” Sarah shared about her unexpected situation.
Sarah met her husband Martin, also 44, on Bumble in 2020, and was immediately upfront about her intention to wait until marriage. The couple dated for four years before tying the knot in September 2024, with Martin being completely supportive of her decision.
“Martin has been so caring the entire time — we had the discussion while we were still talking on Bumble and he was so sweet and fine with it,” Sarah explained about her now-husband’s reaction to her choice.
When The Big Night Finally Arrived…
What should have been a night of long-awaited intimacy quickly turned frustrating when Sarah experienced significant pain during their first attempt at sex.
“I didn’t have any inkling about this condition before, I literally only realized something was wrong when Martin and I tried to have sex for the first time,” she said. “I’d waited such a long time — I just wanted to experience what everyone else has.”
Sarah immediately knew something wasn’t right, describing an “aching” sensation that made consummating their marriage impossible. The excitement of their wedding night quickly faded as the newlywed became upset and felt “abnormal.”
“We just couldn’t work out how to have sex without pain — Martin was fine, but I was really frustrated,” she recalled of that disappointing night.
A Medical Mystery Solved
Determined to resolve the issue, Sarah promptly made a doctor’s appointment. After a physical examination, her doctor discovered the root of the problem: a condition called microperforate hymen.
This rare condition means Sarah was born with an unusually rigid hymen that has only a small opening, making penetration extremely painful or impossible without medical intervention.
“My hymen is unusually rigid, and people are born with it,” Sarah explained. Interestingly, she recalled her mother had experienced a similar issue on her wedding night, suggesting the condition might be hereditary.
The Road Ahead
Sarah is now on a waiting list for a hymenectomy, a surgical procedure to remove the extra tissue from her hymen. While the doctor offered dilators as an alternative treatment, Sarah found that option too painful and is opting for surgery instead.
Unfortunately, her consultation isn’t scheduled until August, and a private procedure would cost around $1,288 — a significant expense for the newlyweds.
“It’s frustrating, and I’ve been feeling really down about it,” Sarah admitted.
The delay is particularly concerning because Sarah hopes to start a family soon, something that won’t be possible without the surgery.
“I’m really worried — I want to start a family as soon as possible. But I can’t, without the surgery,” she said.
Despite the unexpected challenge, Sarah remains committed to her values. She describes intimacy as “something special” and doesn’t regret waiting, even though the outcome wasn’t what she expected after four decades of patience.
“I didn’t want to give myself to just anyone — someone I could eventually break up with or in a one-night stand,” she explained about her lifelong decision.
Sarah also revealed that her choice was influenced by her late mother, Pamela, who had also waited until marriage. “After she died from pancreatic cancer at the age of 72, I was even more determined to make her proud,” Sarah shared.
For now, the newlyweds are navigating this unexpected challenge together, with Martin continuing to show the same patience and understanding that has characterized their relationship from the beginning.