Listen, we’ve all had those days where everything seems to go wrong and you just want to blame the devil himself.
But one man in 1971 took that feeling to a whole new level by literally filing a federal lawsuit against Satan. Yes, you read that right — Satan, as in the actual Prince of Darkness.
Meet Gerald Mayo, a man who decided that enough was enough and took his grievances straight to the Western District of Pennsylvania court system.
And he wasn’t just suing Satan — he filed it as a class action lawsuit against “Satan and his staff.” Because apparently, even the Devil needs employees.
WHAT WAS THE DEVIL SUPPOSEDLY UP TO?
According to Mayo’s official court filing, Satan had been basically running a personal torment campaign against him.
The lawsuit claimed that the Devil had “caused plaintiff misery and unwarranted threats, against the will of plaintiff,” and “placed deliberate obstacles in his path and has caused plaintiff’s downfall.” But wait, it gets better — Mayo also accused Satan of violating his constitutional rights. Because apparently, the U.S. Constitution applies to supernatural beings?
THE COURT’S SURPRISINGLY SERIOUS RESPONSE
Here’s where it gets truly fantastic. Instead of immediately throwing out the case, the court actually took the time to explain why they couldn’t proceed — and their reasoning is pure gold.
The main issue? Mayo forgot to include instructions for how the U.S. Marshal could serve Satan with court papers. Which, when you think about it, is a pretty valid procedural problem. Like, what’s Satan’s mailing address? Does Hell have a ZIP code?
The court’s official response noted that even if Mayo’s complaint showed a “prima facie recital of the infringement of civil rights of a citizen of the United States,” they had “serious doubts that the complaint reveals a cause of action upon which relief can be granted by the court.”
In other words, even if Satan was breaking the law, they weren’t sure they had jurisdiction over the ruler of the underworld.
Perhaps the most incredible part of this whole story is how seriously the court treated what could have been dismissed as a joke. They actually took the time to explain, in proper legal terms, why they couldn’t move forward with a lawsuit against the literal Devil. It’s probably the most professional way anyone has ever said, “Sir, we can’t sue Satan.”
The complete text of the court’s ruling:
Editor’s Note:
Source material: United States District Court, W. D. Pennsylvania case filing, Mayo v. Satan and His Staff (1971)